Look, there is nothing wrong with a few drinks on a first date however, when it gets to the point that he needs to get bombed in order to function, he’s likely not going to be a good match for you.Same holds true if he shows up at your first date stoned. As a general rule of thumb, people in recovery programs, like a 12-step program (AA, CMA, NA…) are encouraged to stay away from the dating scene for 1-year.plus a few therapists who specialize in couples counseling at 2nd Story Counseling in Chicago, Mister Hollywood is ready to share some gay dating tips. Others are ones you may not have heard before and should not ignore. Disclaimer: Not every point here may apply to your situation and is not set in stone.What follows is a list of 10 “Red Flags” for gay men on a first date that should be thought of as potential warning signs that the guy may not be a good fit for you. Think of these as general guidelines as opposed rigid rules.A debatable “red flag” perhaps but one that cannot be ignored.If the guy you are with on the first date treats wait staff, box office attendants or others disrespectfully or rudely, he is showing his true colors.What is important is this – he has been out of his same sex relationship. Instead of manning up and telling you that, he is flirting with other dudes.If he was in a five year relationship and is now out on the market six months after the breakup, he is very likely not going to be emotionally available or emotionally capable of a real relationship again for some time. This point sucks and not something you want to hear but checking out other guys on a first date really is not a good sign for something long term.
If he is Obviously, this is a subjective warning sign however, there are tell-tale things that you should be looking for under this red flag.This point may seem particularly obvious but the truth is that many gay men fall into the trap of ignoring this red flag.In gay years the phrase “long term” can often differ from straight folks.A long term relationship for a gay man can be subjective at best.
As a rule of thumb, 2 years or more is a good yardstick go by, give or take.
This is not a hard and fast rule but is generally encouraged.